UTI

So I know I haven't posted in awhile - primarily because no one is reading this and I'm very fragile and need constant validation in order to put myself out there - also because I've been very busy with Fantasy Football.

I think I started off these posts on the wrong foot - thinking that I would create a persona that reflects how quirky, original, neurotic, compulsive, but ultimately loveable I am. Clearly that isn't going to happen. I'm not that talented. I have had a few things happen in the past few weeks, and it may be cathartic for me to share, so here goes.

My in-laws were here for ten days. They stayed with us in our one-bedroom apartment. It was a very nice visit. I drank several bottles of alcohol and didn't exercise once.

My job is fantastic. Clearly someone with my predisposition to inferiority complexes and anorexia would think that sales is a "good fit" for my personality. It is leading me to drink heavily and eat cheesy food.

I am such a good writer that I can't even write an original speech for my sister's wedding. I am borrowing it from Pablo Neruda. Neruda's dark, skewed vision of love should go over perfectly with the Nascar-employed, Bible-belt wearing, FBI agents that will be there. (I know that you can't actually WEAR a Bible Belt, but then again, I AM preparing a Neruda poem for a wedding toast at a wedding where there will be no alcohol so my intelligence is clearly in question here).

My Fantasy Football prospects are dimmer than an eco-friendly lightbulb in Matthew McConaghey's beach hut. I'm 0-2 and I have Tony Romo. Way to go Hank Baskett. Fortunately I had SEVERAL beers on Sunday to ease the pain.

All of these things are leading up to the subject of this post - UTI.

My pee is red and I'm still in horrific pain. Well, at least I get to go to my awesome job. That should at least distract me.